Frank, the Beagle of Unexpected Plot Twists

((I’m an intuitive thinker. This means that I am perpetually getting crazy insights, and then having to sort them out with my brain–and Scripture–to see if they’re actually possible and make rational sense. Today, welcome to that world, as it’s where I have been living lately. You have been warned)).


Frank the Intuitive Plot Twist Beagle takes up residence in a corner of the room. He is wearing a superhero cape. Completely adorable–and entirely devious.

Me: who invited you in here?

Frank: it’s hard to get rid of me. After all, I am a key part of your brain.

Me: true.

Frank: do you have food?

Me: no. I usually forget to eat when I’m working.

Frank starts whining.

Me: no. Not having that right now. I just ate two hours ago. I need to write now. I have one hour set aside before I have to grade homework.

Frank: I could eat the homework.

Me: no!

Frank whuffles and sits down.

Frank: are you sure she’s supposed to end up with that guy?

Me: yes! Sure. Definitely. I have it charted out in my outline. It’s a very pretty outline. And he’ll grow. See? Growth charted on outline. I got this.

Frank: if you’re sure…

Me: I am.

I start writing. Frank is whistling, which he doesn’t seem to realize is impossible for a beagle. Finally, I look up.

Me: why don’t you think she ends up with him?

Frank: just wondering. He’s kind of a loser.

Me: and then he’ll grow and change. That’s called character development.

Frank: if you say so.

I sigh.

Me: she can’t up with the other guy. He’s a creep!

Frank: or she just thinks he’s a creep.

Me: he’s got a terrible past.

Frank: and good intentions.

Me: and really bad actions.

Frank: he can change. That’s called character development.

Me: but…but…I already made this outline! See? Outline!

I jab finger at outline. Frank trots overs over, superhero cape waving, and eats part of the outline in a few gulps. Then burps and gives a beagle smile.

Frank: that’s better. I was really hungry.

Me: my outline…?

I crumple up the rest of the pages.

Me: why does this matter anyway? This is epic fantasy, not a romance novel!

Frank: and character development means she won’t end up with the creep until much later, when he stops being a creep. It clears out the romance issue.

Me: this could work. This could actually work. And it might not require that many changes…okay, forty minutes left on my time slot…

Frank pants happily with a beagle smile.

Frank: I could still eat the homework.

Me: no.

Frank: just offering…


((The first picture is of the “real Frank”, who lived a long and good life. The second is his successor, Squirt. Who lives with my parents and is proving equally able to eating everything in sight)).


7 thoughts on “Frank, the Beagle of Unexpected Plot Twists

  1. Haha a great read. I think mine is not a beagle as it is a laid back, slinking cat – Cheshire cat-like intuition with swift faster-than-you-know-what’s-happened speed changing the story before I know what’s happened. 🙂

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